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Is Brad Pitt really the right guy to take on a global zombie epidemic in “World War Z”?
Sure, he’s got leading man and action hero credentials, not to mention a handful of Oscar nominations that suggest he’ll be convincing at playing a guy fighting off the undead.
Still, based on his filmography, shouldn’t we be a little suspicious? Judging by the roles he’s played, couldn’t he be a secret zombie himself?
That’s right: Brad Pitt, an undead monster, a cold-blooded hunter of humans, an emotionless automaton, a seemingly unstoppable killer. Pitt has embodied all these aspects of zombiedom on-screen, many times over. Oh, sure, he’s Angelina Jolie’s devoted fiancé and father to her six kids, but then, what better cover? Besides, isn’t she the woman who used to wear a vial of blood around her neck? Could the two of them be raising, in secret, a brood of ridiculously good-looking zombies? Pitt did say he made “World War Z” expressly for his own kids.
For more proof, just check out this extensive selection of his movie roles:
“Kalifornia”: Sociopathic serial killer.
“True Romance”: Brain-dead stoner.
“Interview With the Vampre”: Undead bloodsucker. (Bonus points for walking around like an emotionally numb corpse even before Tom Cruise’s Lestat turns him into a vampire.)
“Legends of the Fall”: Warrior who spends most of the movie numb with grief.
“Twelve Monkeys”: Madman and possible sociopath who may have started the apocalypse.
“Sleepers”: Well, just look at the title.
“Meet Joe Black”: Death himself. Is ignorant about the sensory pleasures of human life, from peanut butter to sex.
“Fight Club”: Possibly sociopathic anarchist. Feeds on a part of Edward Norton’s brain that Norton is apparently not using.
“Snatch”: Unbeatable fighter. Speaks in grunts only barely comprehensible as human speech.
“Troy”: Unkillable fighter — well, almost unkillable.
“Mr. & Mrs. Smith”: Assassin. Cold-blooded enough to hunt his own wife.
“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”: Man born a withered, aged, corpse-like being.
“Killing Them Softly”: Hitman.
Of course, we don’t actually think Brad Pitt’s a zombie, but if he turns into one, don’t say we didn’t warn you.